FAMILY, FINANCES & FOOD, HELP!

While listening to the radio the other morning, I heard them talking about a poll they did. They asked listeners if they liked hearing Christmas music early. Most everyone in the poll answered with a “NO”, they said it brings on their anxiety too soon.

Face it, the holiday season is here, and for many it brings on anxiety about Family, Finances, and Food.

As we get together with family we often resort back to the person we were as a child, feeling insecure, not heard or valued, even though we are adults now. We overspend, reacting to feeling not enough, so we give more hoping others will approve. Then, trying to cope with the insecurities, anger and guilt, we stuff down our emotions with food and alcohol.

This makes us feel extra crappy when the holiday season is over. We are broke, fat, and depressed!

So what do you do? You can’t crawl under a rock and hide, move away or hibernate in your room. You still have to live your day-to-day life and be functional. Besides, aren’t the holidays supposed to be fun and magical?

Yes, they are and they can be fun, but it’s up to each one of us as adults to make it fun for ourselves. It’s time we create our own magic. It’s time to quit waiting for life or ourselves to be perfect before we enjoy it. In essence, enjoy the moment!

                But How?

 

Put yourself on your list FIRST. Take care of you! If you don’t, who will? 90% of my clients are women, and they are burnt out! They have jobs, families, a home, pets, and community that depend on them, add in the holidays and they want to escape. These are the women who find saying “NO” difficult and refuse to take 10 minutes for themselves to relax and breath.

This goes back to how well you value yourself and use boundaries. When you keep looking at the outside for inside value, it will never match. So if you are physically and emotionally exhausted and do not value yourself enough to put your needs first you end up buying more, drinking more and eating more to stuff down the resentment.

                What do you do?

Steps to create a happy, balanced holiday time:

  • Set Healthy Boundaries. If you don’t have them, this is a good time to start. Did you know that setting boundaries lets others know how to treat you? This creates a respectful environment letting others know your time and feelings are important too.

 

    • “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others”.           ~ Brene Brown

 

 

  •  If it’s not a “Hell Yes”, then it’s a No! Say no when you want to, this is part of boundaries.  Like the saying goes, “NO is a perfectly good answer.” Inside, you know what you want to do, you know what makes you feel your best. Saying “yes” when you want to say “no” affects everyone involved. When you’re angry and your heart is not into it, others will feel this. Plus, you are telling yourself that your time is not valuable.
  • Do something that makes you happy. Your job is to take care of yourself, not to fill everyone else’s never-ending needs. My husband always used this saying, “when mamma ain’t happy, no ones happy”! Go to a spa, read a book, go for a walk, delegate house chores, meet some friends for lunch, or just spend some down time with yourself. This is healthy and reminds you how important you really are.
  • Let go of Perfection. This can be a tricky one. As mom’s, we want the best for our kids. We want them to have an even better life than we did. We never want to see them disappointed. Often our insecurities say, “if I am perfect on the outside, no one will see what a mess I really am!” This creates exhaustion. Perfect is boring! Some of the funniest moments can be when life is a mess! Besides, what are we teaching our children by making everything perfect for them?
  • Be flexible. Life, especially around the holiday’s, doesn’t go as planned. Don’t get too focused on the one way you think it should be. That sets you up for disappointment. There are many different ways to enjoy the season, ways you may not even realize. By staying open and flexible you just may have the best time ever!
  • Eat a balanced diet. When your blood sugar is imbalanced (high & low), you crave instant energy boosting foods. Caffeine, chocolate, alcohol, and processed foods are impossible to resist. This puts you on the blood sugar roller coaster for the entire day, creating a cranky, moody, person. Eating foods that are nurturing reaffirms your value and how taking care of yourself is important. Start the day with protein, and include it with every meal. Throw in an avocado and your brain will be happy. Keeping your blood sugar in balance will help to prevent unwanted overspending because you can actually think.

When you value who you are and what you bring to this world, life becomes less angry, less exhausting, and more enjoyable. You feel you are a part of the holidays rather making the holiday’s special for others.

This season, make it a special one for you. Find the value in who you are rather what you do, and everyone around you will say “Hallelujah!”

Great energy is my wish for you,

Janice